Party Unity is the Victor's Responsibility

I thought that I was done crying until I read Marie Cocco's article about Hillary's speech at the Convention. She observed that the way Hillary was treated decades ago(as a young woman) when she ran for class president mirrored the way she has been treated recently as she ran for U.S. President. So little has changed for us as women. All of us women who have had an inexperienced man promoted ahead of us, and all of us women, who have been insulted and ridiculed for putting ourselves forward; identified with Hillary. Her battle was our battle. Her success was our success. Her failure is our failure. Men who think that Hillary can and should bring her supporters to Obama do not understand that this is an issue and a pain that goes far beyond Hillary. Once again Marie Cocco points out the sexism in placing Obama's burden of capturing Hillary's supporters on Hillary rather than Obama.
Impressed by Cocco's article, I went on and read the comments. I was shocked at the continued nastiness of Obama supporters. They have won! They should be graciously reaching out to women, in an effort to bring us on board. Instead the nasty insults continue. They continue to address Hillary and women with disdain while ordering us to fall in line behind Obama.
One commenter says: hillary's supporters need to put on a fresh pair of panties and step forward into the real world. however unhappy they are about obama, if they think mccain is really a better choice for america, they never really knew what hillary was about anyway.
Frankly, I am not sure I get the panties part, except that in his adolescent mind reference to women's apparel is an insult. It was obviously intended as one. Why does he think that he has the right to tell me what I have to do? Because men always think that they have the right to straighten out our "foolish" thinking and tell us what to do.
A second commenter accuses us all of being black-man hating lesbians. Of course that is the next move in their game book. When women don't listen to you and "behave"--accuse them of being lesbians. This option has become more popular since men lost the power to have women committed.
As we commemorate the anniversary of the 19th amendment, we remember the suffering and sacrifice of the women who fought for sufferage. I would be disloyal to those women, if I failed to respect the power of my vote and allowed myself to be intimidated. My vote must be earned, not coerced. Its all about control. Men think that they have a right to control me and my vote--but they don't. They can stamp their feet and make demands, but its my vote! They have to relinquish their posture of control, reach out on women's issues and earn my vote. I do not respond well to orders.
Most people are placing the burden of party unity on Hillary's shoulders (she must bring around her supporters). It is time we started placing the burden where it belongs--on Obama's shoulders. He should be reaching out to women. He should take responsiblity for his supporters. He should help them understand sexism and the importance of women's rights. He needs to send a strong message to his supporters that this kind of woman hating and homophobia is not acceptable.

Seriously--for a Moment

For a brief moment this past winter the women of America raised their
heads and dared.
We dared to dream!
We dared to believe!
We dared to do the impossible!
We dared to think that women would be taken seriously!
For that one brief shining moment, all the slights and discrimination we have faced as women were overcome by visions of our possiblities. All the times we were told: "girls can't do that" were overshadowed by the possiblity that we could now do anything. They called us silly women when we asked for the vote, when we demanded to be doctors, judges, generals and congressman. Whenever we demanded our rights, we were being ridiculous. But for that one glorious moment a woman was being seriously considered for President of the United States.

Elderly women (who have fought for women's equality since women's vote was new--dared to believe that they would live to see a woman become President. Younger women raised our heads in pride as we watched Hillary's grace, pride, strength, and intelligence forge a path toward the Democratic nomination through a gauntlet of sexism. We dared to dream that our world would truly change! Girls saw, for the first time, that all doors were open to them. They dared to do the impossible!

Glorious as the moment was, it was after all--only a moment. An ephemeral glimpse into an alternate reality. Our reality came crashing down upon women and our hopes and dreams.While we mourned in devastation, Obama announced that his selection as nominee had made history and now the whole globe can heal. Women should get over it and support him. His statement that because he was selected America is making history denied the fact that his opportunity had come at the expense of women's opportunity to make history. Apparently he can not grasp the importance of the opportunity women have been denied. Does he truly believe that women can heal from the oppression and discrimination we have faced throughout our lives because he is President instead of Hillary? Does he not respect, recognize, or appreciate the discrimination that women face? It is as if he doesn't take our rights seriously, because they are not important to him. Once again--we are just silly women after all--striving beyond our station in life.

While Kim Gandy continues to state that women are grieving--there is
more to it than that. Many women are angry. They feel that the process was unfair and they were cheated. Some of these women will not be placated. They will not support Obama. They will withhold their vote in protest.

Some are still struggling to bring themselves around to
support him. They are waiting for something more from him. Something
more than the salt he has poured into our wounds. They are waiting for
him to demonstrate some real appreciation and support for women's
struggle. Women are waiting for the man (who claims to be the great unifier) to recognise and legitimize our loss as valid. They are waiting for him to value our rights and take our struggle seriously.

For one brief shining moment women dared to believe that we were equal. It was the hope and dream of our lives. How can we believe that
Obama cares about women and women's rights, when clearly he cannot appreciate the significance of our loss.